150 Word Excerpt: 'Theatre Kids' by John DeVore

Grief. Friendship. Jazz hands. Pre-order now

Photo: FiveFanPhotoshops

The following is a short snippet from my debut, Theatre Kids, a cheeky memoir for anyone who sings and/or cries in the shower:

“How can you tell if someone you know, or even love, is a theatre kid? Ask yourself this: Do they take a lot of selfies? Do. They. Enunciate. Every. Word? Do they frequently sigh heavily? Do they talk about themselves and their manifold feelings incessantly? These are just a few of the signs. Do they spell it t-h-e-a-t-r-e instead of t-h-e-a-t-e-r? That’s a good one. Only a true theatre kid spells it “theatre.” A “theater” is where you watch “theatre.” You see? No? This difference matters, and if you don’t think it does, you’re probably not a theatre kid, which may come as a relief to many of you. I need you to know that I know that t-h-e-a-t-r-e is just the British spelling of the word. But I much prefer the other explanation, don’t you? It’s more romantic. The theatre is an ancient art, a sacred, almost holy, occupation.”

Theatre Kids will be released on June 18th and is available for advance purchase via your friendly neighborhood independent bookstore, or you can support poor ol’ Jeff Bezos if you so desire. Your choice! If you prefer to click buttons instead of links, here you go:

---

You Can Judge A Book By Its Cover A Little Bit

Illustration: Carolyn Stewart

Hi. Thanks for scrolling.

I can't believe I wrote a book. It hit me the other day that friends, family, and total strangers will be able to read it very soon. Treasured newsletter subscribers, too. I have no perspective at all at this point: I love this book, whether or not anyone else will. The writing process took too long, yet there wasn’t enough time. I wish I could continue writing and editing it forever. But I can't.

Theatre Kids is about many things: addiction, masculinity, suboptimal romantic choices, art, failure, and family. I knew going in that I was going to make fun of reformed drama dorks like yours truly. But then I slowly discovered what my memoir was really about: those friends in your life who carry you when no one else will and you can't. And so, I celebrated them.

I can’t wait for you to give it a read.

---

Pics Or It Didn’t Happen

Photo: McLean High School Yearbook, 1992

Proof of my life in the theatre. My bona fides, if you will.

---

Random Rankings

Top 5 Rejected Theatre Kids Subtitles

5. ‘Theatre Kids: "Hey, Let's Put On A Show" And Other Bad Ideas’

4. ‘Theatre Kids: Exit, Pursued By A Bear’

3. ‘Theatre Kids: Portrait Of An Artist As An Emotionally Messy Diva’

2. ‘Theatre Kids: The Unofficial Sequel To ‘Les Miserables’

1. ‘Theatre Kids: A Masterpiece’