150 Word Review: 'Rebel Moon — Part One: A Child of Fire' (2023)

A nü hope

Photo: Netflix

Burger King serves a shameless rip-off of McDonald’s Big Mac called the Big King. It’s fine.

I thought about this while falling asleep to metalcore auteur Zack Snyder's tedious sci-fi spectacle Rebel Moon — Part One: A Child of Fire, which Snyder originally pitched to Lucasfilm as a Star Wars movie. They passed, but Netflix didn't. There are space fascists, laser swords, and a droid voiced by Anthony Hopkins.

The plot is Kurosawa's Seven Samurai. Sofia Boutella stars as a brooding nobody with a secret who recruits a motley crew of galactic warriors to defend a small planet from Ed Skrein's Darth Gestapo.

Rebel Moon is boldly derivative. Chaotic. There’s a griffin! It made me want to rewatch recent space operas, like The Wachowskis' Jupiter Ascending. I’m not a Snyder hater. His movies are motorcycles: loud, powerful, obnoxious, but he's sincere. He should abandon the slow-motion. It's a creative crutch.

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RANDOM RANKINGS

Top 5 Zack Snyder Movies

5. ‘Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole’ (2010)

4. ‘Watchmen’ (2009)

3. ‘300’ (2007)

2. ‘Man of Steel’ (2013)

1. ‘Dawn of the Dead’ (2004)

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NICE SHOT

Photo: Netflix

Bae Doona is the cyborg swordmaster Nemesis, who wields a pair of off-brand lightsabers.

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