150 Word Review: 'Road House' (2024)
Be nice
Jake Gyllenhaal is a lean, sheepish he-man in this splashy, frenetic, reverential remake of the 1989 classic Road House about a man who is very good at his job (breaking the bones of barflies.)
Directed by seasoned action maestro Doug Liman, Road House is at its best when it lovingly leans into the original and gets flabby when it explores subplots involving drug dealers and UFC controversies. The fight choreography is inspired: Liman's onscreen mayhem is as smooth as top-shelf whiskey. There are some gnarly fistfights and a harrowing pre-climax on a yacht. (The climax is a savage mano y mano grudge match.)
Gyllenhaal isn't quite as vulnerable as Swayze as an actor, but he has an innate calmness that makes his interpretation of Dalton, gentleman bruiser, compelling. Swayze's Dalton was a serene Jedi, Gyllenhaal's a sadsack with a temper. UFC legend Conor McGregor stars as a grinning Irish Terminator.
Grief. Friendship. Jazz hands. My debut memoir, Theatre Kids, comes out on June 18th.
Bonus 150 Word Review: ‘Road House’ (1989)
Patrick Swayze was a beautiful man. Graceful, charming, powerful. His pivot from dirty dancing heartthrob to throat-ripping action hero was seamless. Swayze looks like he can give and take a punch in the meat-and-potatoes one-man-army movie Road House, a barn burner that hints at a universe full of chaotic honky tonks guarded by a few honest samurai-bouncers.
Road House features all of the excesses of 80s cinema with a wise, philosophical heart. There's boobs and blood. Swazye's butt is objectified. Ben Gazzara—veteran actor— plays a stylish crime boss. Sam Elliot—national treasure—shows up as a grizzled mentor. Swayze is Dalton, hired to save a hopeless saloon.
The appropriately named Rowdy Herrington directs. He understood his star's kung-fu ballet dancer vibe. As he's getting a knife wound stapled shut without painkillers, Swayze's poet warrior says, "Pain don't hurt." You could build an entire religion on that badass bon mot.
I'm looking forward to this remake. Swayze carried the original very well. I think Gyllenhaal can do the same. My expectations that Conor McGregor can really act are just above floor level. I expect the action will be really good as McGregor is a real fighter, and Gyllenhaal already proved to me that he can fake fight well in his excellent performance in "South Paw" (where he also showed some vulnerability).
Hey, idea for ya, I won't use DM so forgive this. I just watched a Denzel thriller that I didn't realize was going to be an edge of your seat thriller: The Great Debaters from 2007. I didn't know the real story and being from the Deep South it scared the holy shit out of me. Did you ever review that one?