150 Word Review: 'Melania' (2026)
The real housewife of Mar-a-Lago
In medieval courts, nobles paid tribute to their king to win his favor, each on their knees, offering praise and treasure, and the lavish documentary Melania, produced by Amazon MGM Studios, owned by Jeff Bezos, is just that, a $75 million tribute from a billionaire to President Trump and the First Lady.
Directed by former Hollywood hotshot Brett Ratner, Melania is a political infomercial shot like a blockbuster, following its icy subject during the days leading up to her husband’s second inauguration. Who is Melania? I have no idea. She cares about children. She’s comfortable in heels and awkward in churches. Over the course of 104 minutes, Melania changes stylish outfits, pores over seating charts, gets in and out of SUVs and planes, and welcomes designers, assistants, and other courtiers to her golden penthouse in New York City. There is a desperation, an insecurity, ungirding every minute of manufactured glamor.
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You’re a better man than me, DeVore. Sitting through Melania would be like having a feeding tube pumping industrial effluence directly into the brain. But someone’s gotta do it.
Bezos bends both knees to fellate the Mad King while eviscerating the Post on the grounds that it was hemorrhaging money. A third of the Post’s staff, including all nine photographers - among them decades-long veteran photojournalists kicked to the curb. It reminds me of Boxer, the loyal workhorse shipped off to the glue factory in Animal Farm. Thank you for your service!
Bezos could have kept the Post afloat, much like his trophy yacht and his trophy wife. But it’s not a matter of whether the Post was profitable or not. Journalism has no place in the pre-apocalyptic, neo-feudalist society these parasitic billionaires have envisioned.
I'm glad the home version restored all the ping pong ball footage.