150 Word Review: 'Conclave' (2024)
Pope-a-dope
The solemn drama Conclave has everything I want in a movie—namely, character actors in marvelous costumes arguing in dark rooms. Director Edward Berger is a pro who adores his veteran cast’s sour faces.
Based on Robert Harris' novel, Conclave gives a Cardinals-eye view of the ancient, secretive, quasi-democratic way the Catholic Church decides who gets to wear the Pope's magic ring. Doesn't sound dramatic? How about this: Vatican City is a snake pit of divas dressed like wizards. It's high-brow: politics are discussed briefly. And low brow: terrorists set off bombs outside the Sistine Chapel. Plus, there’s a holy papal plot twist.
Conclave is a silly, high-stakes office drama-meets-mystery (who's gonna be pontiff!?) starring a penitent Ralph Fiennes as Holy Columbo. Stanley Tucci is over-the-top as a do-gooder pope contender who doth protest too much. Conclave 2 should be about Isabella Rossellini's iron-willed nun; there simply wasn't enough of her.
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Honestly thought the story as subtle as a WW2 propaganda film (Indeed, the 'bad' character is even called Tedesco, ffs).* Instead of having my virtue flattered by art that preaches to whatever choir I'm in, I'd rather see it challenged. Watched Magazine Dreams the night before and still don't know what I'm meant to think because of that, but loved it. There's too little of whatever that was in Conclave.
* which made me compare Conclave unfavorably to Hitchcock's Lifeboat and realise, yes, it is a "lifeboat" drama of sorts.
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